directions...

sometimes i get lost. not very often. i usually know which direction that i am going, i may not be familiar with the surrounding streets, but deep inside i try to find myself back to the place where i started or better yet, a way that pushes me along further in my trip. the second of these doesn't happen quite as often as i'd like. i'm a progressor and enjoy moving forward not back. but, in these past couple of weeks, i've tried to jump forward. launching myself into the far ahead, but truly God is saying hold up not too quick. if we leave off/jump off/ahead/whatever the path that we are called, let's say taking a windy path or something unknown and get lost or stuck, or somehow fall into needing great help, He always takes us back to where He left off when He was truly ruling our lives.

truly ruling life.
what rules your life? for the most part, my life has been run by me, there have been times where (in all desperation: a few of them to name- freshman year, a hard job, a couple of really bad breakups, and most recently an overwhelming thought life) i have relied solely on God, but for the most part, i live my daily life trying to control the things that surround me, reaching for things that i think will better my life or help those around me, but ....my directions are changing.

something happened in my life before the holiday season and it broke my heart. i had to let someone down. it hurt. really bad. i did it in obedience. i would like to say with grace, but words aren't always the best sometimes. however, that choice that i made almost 1 month ago (minus 3 days) has not let that person down, but lifted that person to the very Man that can transcend everything -all time, money, love, everything...things are still moving slowly, but evidence is showing through. prayers continue because i know that only God's power in my situation will be the only thing worth anything of value...

my prayer today, is that whomever may read this (maybe just me) may be touched by the Holy Spirit. listen. and please please please obey. for God's rewards in heaven are far greater than the things that we see that we want every day on this earth. (money, education, pride, gain, affluence, popularity, appearances, strength- the muscle kind, etc etc) they surpass all of the things that we could even dream for...our minds can conceive or fathom the greatness of our God, so take the step into what you think is unknown territory- take that direction that you haven't been on before or maybe stepped off of that is leading you back to Him. i promise the path is narrow, but sometimes the narrower the road, the more attention we can have to the little things on the side of the road. think about a tiny two lane country road versus a 4 lane freeway. there's no time to look at the sides of the road on the highway, you can slam into the shiny mercedes bumper in front of you or steer towards the median; on that tiny country road there will be trees, land, horses, an occassional duelly with a hemi pass by with a trailor full of horses, but you get my point- God's greatness can be seen on the narrow roads; there's more to take away.

whether you are the type like my mom or sister that needs a navigation system in the car or the type like my dad and i where we just internally have a compass on the inside of your brain, we all need directions to get anywhere in life. anywhere worth going.
who is giving you directions?